Friday, July 3, 2009

Boat to Nowhere

I really will post about my trip soon, but right now I'm annoyed. I adore Boyfriend. I like to be with him, and I like his friends. Well, his Dallas friends. When I see Dallas friends, they hug me and look happy to see me and tell me how much Boyfriend likes me and ask how I'm doing.

And then pre-Dallas friends come, and Boyfriend is excited for me to meet them, and I'm excited as well. Until they're unfriendly bitches. I really like his guy friends--they're great, and they like me too (probably because I can prevailed upon to make a 2 a.m. grilled cheese).

I'm friendly. I'm nice, and smart, and pretty. And you should at least be open to liking me. Don't answer my questions about your kid or where you work or how long you've known Boyfriend with one sentence answers and then turn around and ignore me. And then, after a few hours of that, don't go to Boyfriend and tell him I'm unfriendly and ask why he's dating me. Because that pisses me off. I don't ask you why you're shaped like a meatball, or if you need to borrow my shampoo sometime, because I have tact. I understand that social retardism is sometimes a hard hurdle to overcome, but grab a pole and vault. You can do it.

Now, Boyfriend is going to be confused and hurt because I'm not going on the Fourth of July party boat tomorrow. But I really don't want to spend five more hours feeling like an awkward uncomfortable freak show. Should I just suck it up and go? Am I being a baby? I could go out with my friends instead, and have a good time that doesn't involve drinking, sunburn, and pretending to have a good time when really I'm bored and angry and hurt.

(I found forty bucks on the ground at the bar, though. And that was the high point.)


D'Rae said...

I would tell him exactly what you told us. That you tried to be nice but they just ignored you.

I would rather have a good time than be bored. But that is just me..... Hope it all works out for you

Sheila said...

Aw, that sucks. How rude is that!? They sound socially inept, to boot.

I would be frank with the Boyfriend. You made overtures, they were less than forthcoming, you tried. You will continue to be polite, but you made an effort and they did not. He doesn't have to choose, but you also aren't glued to him at the hip, and it's fine to spend time apart and do stuff on your own.

And I would give them a second chance. Maybe he built you up and they had really high expectations. But do try again - maybe if he sees you trying and them not responding, he'll say something to them.

Rachael said...

That's a crappy situation to be in. I can relate to my partner having butthead friends. My solution was to just not go anywhere where I knew they'd be. I get to spend plenty of time with him one on one, so it's fine. Life is too short and precious to waste on rude people.

*Diane* said...

Wow. Like everyone else has said, i would tell boyf that you tried, and they didn't. And like Sheila said, after bringing it to their attention, consider giving them another chance...if it still doesn't work out, then its their loss.

Ally said...

I've been down that "just be honest with him" road about his friends before. Didn't work out so well for me. One of Al's friends is a total bitch to me. She's hateful, snarky, rude, etc. He doesn't see it. What the hell?!?

Anyway. I can't stand her. Like, want to punch her in the face every time I see her. Her speech pattern is like nails on a chalkboard to me. I'm sure the feeling is mutual too.

I tried being honest w/him about how I felt and he got defensive and then we argued about it. In the end, I just decided to keep my trap shut and avoid her. We rarely make plans with her as she's living out of state now (thank god!!) but I avoid her. If her name comes up in conversation, I change the topic.

I think it's best, especially at this early state, to pick your battles. Right now his loyalties lie with his friends. He's known them longer and in then end, they'll "win." Just avoid them and kill them with kindness when you do see them. Like Rachael said, life's too short.