Boat to Nowhere

I really will post about my trip soon, but right now I'm annoyed. I adore Boyfriend. I like to be with him, and I like his friends. Well, his Dallas friends. When I see Dallas friends, they hug me and look happy to see me and tell me how much Boyfriend likes me and ask how I'm doing.

And then pre-Dallas friends come, and Boyfriend is excited for me to meet them, and I'm excited as well. Until they're unfriendly bitches. I really like his guy friends--they're great, and they like me too (probably because I can prevailed upon to make a 2 a.m. grilled cheese).

I'm friendly. I'm nice, and smart, and pretty. And you should at least be open to liking me. Don't answer my questions about your kid or where you work or how long you've known Boyfriend with one sentence answers and then turn around and ignore me. And then, after a few hours of that, don't go to Boyfriend and tell him I'm unfriendly and ask why he's dating me. Because that pisses me off. I don't ask you why you're shaped like a meatball, or if you need to borrow my shampoo sometime, because I have tact. I understand that social retardism is sometimes a hard hurdle to overcome, but grab a pole and vault. You can do it.

Now, Boyfriend is going to be confused and hurt because I'm not going on the Fourth of July party boat tomorrow. But I really don't want to spend five more hours feeling like an awkward uncomfortable freak show. Should I just suck it up and go? Am I being a baby? I could go out with my friends instead, and have a good time that doesn't involve drinking, sunburn, and pretending to have a good time when really I'm bored and angry and hurt.

(I found forty bucks on the ground at the bar, though. And that was the high point.)

There's No Place Like Home

I’m back and exhausted! I’ll post a few pics soon but a lot of them are on my friend’s camera. Most importantly…I made top ten percent! Barely, but I did it and I don’t even know how to tell you how relieved and happy I am. Thinking about how awful last year was, and how I managed to get through and change my life and come out on the other side exactly where I wanted, makes me want to cry. In the best way.
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Horror story: On the way back from Rome, our flight got delayed for four hours. We had gotten up at four and were exhausted, and I started crying on the airplane because I was so frustrated and tired. Then this lovely Italian lady named Rosie mothered me and fed me a granola bar and we talked all the way back to New York, and I met her sons at the airport and she told me she wished she had a daughter like me. (She met her husband in Italy and knew right away, and they got married almost immediately and are still happy thirty-eight years later, which is beautiful.)
Anyway, back to the horror. So then, even after running flat out through JFK with our suitcases, we still missed our Dallas flight, and I started crying again and so American Airlines put us on standby on a flight out of Laguardia. So we took a taxi and he drove crazy to get us there, speeding down exit lanes and then cutting people off to get back on the freeway, and the desk lady told us we might not get on (there were 84 standby passengers). So Yara begged, and I was still crying, and then we took her a pretzel and begged some more. And then magically our name popped up to the top of the list and we got on the plane and finally, finally got home, and my boyfriend scooped me up and twirled me and kissed me and I squealed and laughed, and everyone in the baggage claim stared at us.
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But, and there’s more to come later, I’ve never had such a great vacation. I love my best friend in a way I love few other people, and I’m lucky to have her. We celebrate the best qualities in each other at the same time we accept all the warts, and so travel together was amazing. We laughed the whole time, spent all day every day together and still talked each night till two in the morning.
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Paris was my favorite city, London was very American, and Rome…ugh. I’ll be honest and say I did not like Rome and never want to go back. It was filthy and smelly and the men were very aggressive, and once you run out of ruins there’s not a lot to do. But later I’ll tell you about running around Paris, and an amazing little Sardinian restaurant off the Spanish Steps in Rome, and the bustle of London. Now I’m taking my jet lag back to bed.

Globetrottin' Girl

I'm so filled with joy lately--I can barely remember the bleak, lethargic feeling law school gave me. I got four of my grades and have thus far made two As and two Bs...the As were in my hardest classes, so they take away the sting of the Bs. I just should have worked harder in those classes (or actually gone--ha!). But constitutional law was miserably hard--hundreds of pages of material, closed book, needed to memorize case names and years and Supreme Court justices--and I did it. And I didn't just do it--I dominated it. This is the first grade I've ever actually been proud of.

In other news, my weeks have been crazy busy--trying to see everyone before I jet off to London, Paris, and Rome on Wednesday, trying to pack, trying to take care of law school business. Booking a five-day vacation in Puerto Vallarta with the handsome new boyfriend. We're in that lovey phase that's probably nauseating to other people, but I can't help it--how often do you just click with someone on every level? Intellectually, emotionally, physically--I can't believe it's already been a month, or that it's only been a month. I also can't believe how I'm softening--I like to cook him dinner, do his laundry. Erica's getting domesticated, friends. But I guess I can wear a power suit and make great penne pasta, too.

Anyway, I really should go pack--I'm having trouble believing that I did so well my first year of law school, and that soon I'm going to be strolling around Versailles and the Colosseum with my best friend, and that when I get back to America there's an amazing man waiting at the airport to whisk me home.

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Also, Sarah has a deal for you if you want some Uggs...enter "FICKLEBROW" into the box in the shopping cart and you can get $30 off a pair of shoes. http://www.whoogaboots.co.uk/

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Dress: Anthro, Shoes: Naturalizer via Burke's Outlet, Bracelet and Earrings: NY and Co. (My friend's apt!)

Wedded Bliss

I’ve always leaned more toward eloping somewhere fabulous, but this wedding swayed me a little. My friend was so beautiful and radiant—and the ceremony so sincere and the guests so full of joy for my friends’ new life together—that I might have cried a little in the car. In a good way.

The reception was amazing, too—we all downed too much champagne and danced and sang crappy Journey songs late into the night. My feet were swollen for days, but it was worth it. (I also vaguely remember doing the Electric Slide. Apparently champagne makes me a stellar dancer. Sorry about your toes, Thara!)

And now I’m back from a week in sleepy Southern Illinois, and then in two weeks, Europe, with my best friend.

In case you’re wondering about the love front—going well. We talked for hours a day while I was in Illinois, and he picked me at the airport yesterday. And when I saw him my heart jumped. I was smiling before I got off the plane.

He appreciates my intelligence, and sees the best me—and I think when he sees the me who’s not so pretty, who throws her law book at the wall when she’s frustrated, or cries over a dumb commercial on TV, who fights with her mom and isn’t always as nice as she could be—he won’t mind.

I recently got an e-mail from a reader telling me to “chill” with the dating, which really made me think—maybe I shouldn’t jump into things, shouldn’t be going forward with such pell-mell abandon. On one hand, that’s good advice. And I appreciate advice.

On the other hand, I’m tired of being cautious—I’ve always had the good grades, good schools, nice manners, nice friends, suitable boyfriends who left me chilled. I never take chances; everything is calculated. And if I meet someone exciting, who makes me more spontaneous, who makes me joyful—then I’m going to go for it. I don’t want to live a muted brown life—I want to be fuchsia.

After months of feeling crushed and trapped by law school, it’s nice to emerge into the summer light, holding hands in the sun with a handsome boy who thinks you’re beautiful (and who fills the fridge with your favorite foods before you get home).





Most of my wedding pics have my friends in them, and since they don't know I have a blog and I would feel obligated to ask for permission to post their pics, you just get me. ;)

Date Two

So many posts! I only wish I had my camera and could put outfits up with them. BUT...

Another amazing night. Sushi first--I've never had it, but I'll try new things. One of the rolls was okay, but the rest...not so much. I have trouble choking down the squid and salmon eggs. So I had a pile of edamame and some miso soup, and I'm about to eat some hummus at this grand hour of three in the morning. Maybe the sushi is an acquired taste--I'd go back, but nothing holds my heart like enchiladas.

So then we were going to go to a movie, but nixed that because really, who has time for movies? We ended up in UpTown at a wine bar, talking for hours, and downed two bottles of Spanish wine before he dropped me off.

I like how he makes fun of me, and isn't offended that I mocked his pink shirt, and what's better than being young and full of hope in the city and mellowly tipsy and walking through the quiet streets of UpTown hand in hand with a guy you've had hours of amazing conversation with?

He's just so interesting, and fun, and did I mention he's handsome and smells good and and my stomach is kind of sore from laughing? I'm watching the game with him tomorrow, and then he's off to Ohio, and I'm kicking up my heels (pink suede platforms with a delicious gray silk 1940s style dress!) at my best friend's wedding before it's off to my Papa's house in Illinois to cool those same heels....

Thanks so much for the excitement and encouragement!

*Squee*

UPDATE: 1 bottle of wine + 1 110 pound girl=never, never again.

Late-Night Update

Okay friends!

Wow. As Ally said, I didn't have super high expectations for my first date, but I felt like it was a good ice breaker into my new life as a vivacious single woman with an arsenal of confidence and kick-ass shoes.

So, started out with Peruvian food (delicious!) and had an amazing time. I feel so relieved--within five minutes my nerves were completely gone. I was articulate, he made me laugh (hard), we talked for hours and now eight hours later the date has ended, followed up by a sweet text. (Despite the late hour, the date ended with all my clothes on, don't worry.)

I'm going out with him again tomorrow. That seems kind of soon and crazy, I suppose, but I did enjoy his company and I'm about to head out of town till July, so there's no harm of me jumping into things.

However, I did fall over a table and cut my knee, and also misinterpreted him leaning in as an invitation for a good night kiss--which it wasn't. Which was kind of awkward. But you know what? The kiss was exciting, it's been a long time, and I can own my awkwardness.

Getting Them All

Hi blog world,

Today I turn in my last paper of the year! It's not for a grade but to get on law review, which is prestigious and looks awesome on a resume.

More importantly, I have a date tomorrow. (Different guy--told you I would get them all!) I haven't had a date in five years, which pretty much means I've never dated as an adult--as someone who's confident, and has experiences and opinions and isn't half-formed. Zach and I grew into adulthood together--I don't really remember getting to know him at all. It was like I always knew him, and there was never really that uncomfortable, getting-to-know-you, sizing-you-up phase.

So I'm a little skittish about this whole process. What if I'm too nervous to be myself? What if he's not as literate and witty as he seems? Dress or jeans? Drink with dinner? How do people end up married, anyway? This is more stressful than the torts exam, to which there was also no answer.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited, though. I'll let you know how this goes.