Back from the Beyond

First of all, sorry it took me so long to get back and give you an update! I spent the week after I got robbed moving, and then I was so behind in my law work that I have been swamped ever since. The robberies in the complex are still going on, which is crazy to me—I guess the management there just doesn’t care about its tenants. They actually told me they knew it was someone in the complex, but obviously they aren’t going to do anything about it. I hope the manager enjoyed her cut from my new TV.

However, my new apartment is amazing--it's 200 square feet bigger, with a massive garden tub, gas fireplace, hardwoods, and an alarm. Even better, the closet is so big I can finally hang up every item of clothing I own--at one time. There are security guards in the parking lot every night, and cameras in the halls. I feel so much safer. And the best thing is that it was only $50 more a month. Thank you, horrible economy! I've had to cut out some fun activities like eating out, but it's worth it to feel secure in my lovely new place. They even painted a wall yellow for me, so it's sunny and cheery.

A lot has happened since I moved, as well. “Happened” as in I took a hammer and made a shambles of everything. I went to law school because I was so lost with what I wanted in my life. I didn’t know what path to take, if I wanted to get married and have a family, if I wanted to focus on a career instead, if I wanted to join the Peace Corp and move to the Ukraine.

In retrospect, the law has been a mistake for me. I don’t enjoy the competition or the work, despite the fact that I did so well. I don’t really indentify with or enjoy many of my peers, and I think I might have been better suited to a Ph.D. program with one of my true passions, English or History. I’m still looking into it. I’m not a quitter, and I will finish law school. But if I don’t like practice, I’m not going to tie myself to it.

I also broke up with my boyfriend of five years. Maybe that will be a mistake, but it feels right for so many reasons, even while I’m crushed and crying. We both just want drastically different things out of life, and even I’ve broken both our hearts I feel like my decision was the necessary one. I’m just not ready for a wedding—I’ve really never wanted that like some people do. I didn’t plan it as a little girl, don’t browse “The Knot” in my spare time, and just get no joy out of the thought of picking out the dress and the garter and tasting frostings to make my perfect day. I’m not ready for the marriage that comes after, either. I like to live alone and run my own life, not answering to anyone.

However, this does not mean I’m horribly sad! I have a buoyant hope that soon things will work out—I’ll find my niche in the law or something else, meet a love that takes my breath (and selfishness) away, and have a lovely charmed life. It just means that this blog might turn into an “Erica figures out her life” blog, and you are not obligated to read it at all. I can’t afford a new camera, so while I still strive for fashion I just can’t share it.

Thank you for all your kind comments after I was robbed! They really meant a lot to me, and I hope all has been going well in your lives. It feels good to be back.