Control Your Wildlife, Please

So, now that the first week of law school is over and the second is about to begin, was it so bad?

Why yes, yes it was.

I slept for about five hours a night, read for hours and hours a day, and didn’t see anyone outside of my classmates for a whole week.

I’ve been looking at the California Fashion Institute and taking little quizzes to see what fashion career I’d best fit into, and the great part about that would be that it only takes a year. And the downside, of course, is that the resulting unemployment lasts the rest of your life.

Anyway, after the shock of this initial week I feel it’ll get better. I’m already reading more efficiently, and I wasn’t a stuttering ass when I got called on class (maybe this was because I was actually paying attention and not playing solitaire, Girl Sitting in Front of Me).

And the only reason I slept so little is because I still took the time to talk to my boyfriend and my best friends. . .I read a novel and watched TV. . . I cooked dinner and played with the dogs. Dark circles are a small price to pay for not being a law automaton.

That’s not to say I’m not supremely frustrated with many things, however. Like some of my classmates. Let’s say we’re talking about possession as it regards to wild animals. Here’s a conversation that’s almost as absurd as some things people bring up.

Professor: “So, class, if a wild animal runs away and does not have an intent to return, then the person it got away from does not have any interest in it, and therefore cannot claim possession. Any questions?”

Stupid, Vile, Repugnant Over-Participator: “But what if—what if—there. Were a Beaver. And the Beaver was living in your apartment. And it built a dam. In your bathtub. Maybe with hangers from your closet. And then you opened the door and it ran away. So would it have intent to return? If it built a dam? And if someone captured and kept your Beaver, would you have legal recourse to get it back?”

Can you hear the screaming in my head?

Outfit: Dress, Macy’s; Yellow satin peeptoes, BP; Clutch: Bandolino ($6!).

I wore this to a wedding…it seems like all my peers are getting married. Aren’t we a little young for this? In accord with the skyrocketing divorce rate, I want to give them cards with an IOU for my legal services in the future, but my boyfriend won’t let me. He says that would be tacky. I say that in five years, a discount divorce is going to turn out to be a much better gift than that dart board they registered for.