Ladies in London

It’s so hard to post in the summer! Hopefully I’ll be better about it as the semester starts up again. (Especially since I might be guilty of posting in class! But when else do you get those things done?)

Anyway, thanks for your advice and support on my last post! Things turned out fine; I misjudged two of the girls and the next day we were friendly. The third one I’m fine with avoiding. Things are still going great with the new BF, too.

Time is going so fast and I have no idea how I will get everything done next semester! I got onto Law Review, which is going to be a ridiculous pain in the ass, and am an officer in Family Law and also will be working for federal immigration court. Oh, and going to class. But I don’t really worry about that. Ha!

Anyway, on to vacation pics, as promised! I'll put up Paris and Rome later this week.

Erica in London

London basically felt like New York City, but without street hot dog vendors. Instead, there were castles and monuments. We were there for three days. We got there after a nine-hour red-eye and proceeded to stay up until almost 2 the next morning, so by the time that day was over we were pretty loopy.

My friend's straightner blew the converter and started smoking...oops!

Albert Memorial in Hyde Park....

Big Ben was actually not that big...

I paid $6 a piece for these pastries at Harrod's. As you can see, they were amazing.

Gardens at Windsor Castle. The royal family has little apartments there that they let impoverished retired military officers live in for free.

The London Eye...we didn't ride this because heights make me frantic. Once on a school trip I climbed up maybe five feet on a zip line and almost passed out. I had to lay on the ground afterward.

A guard! In a furry hat! Notice the little worn path in the stone, too.

The Tower of London. Which is actually several buildings that make up a castle. Who knew? (Probably people who paid attention in European history...oh, and that cylindrical glass building in the background is nicknamed the "erotic gherkin." In case you like trivia.)

Westminster Abbey! It was beautiful but we didn't get to see the inside because it was closed to visitors unless they sat through a service.

Boat to Nowhere

I really will post about my trip soon, but right now I'm annoyed. I adore Boyfriend. I like to be with him, and I like his friends. Well, his Dallas friends. When I see Dallas friends, they hug me and look happy to see me and tell me how much Boyfriend likes me and ask how I'm doing.

And then pre-Dallas friends come, and Boyfriend is excited for me to meet them, and I'm excited as well. Until they're unfriendly bitches. I really like his guy friends--they're great, and they like me too (probably because I can prevailed upon to make a 2 a.m. grilled cheese).

I'm friendly. I'm nice, and smart, and pretty. And you should at least be open to liking me. Don't answer my questions about your kid or where you work or how long you've known Boyfriend with one sentence answers and then turn around and ignore me. And then, after a few hours of that, don't go to Boyfriend and tell him I'm unfriendly and ask why he's dating me. Because that pisses me off. I don't ask you why you're shaped like a meatball, or if you need to borrow my shampoo sometime, because I have tact. I understand that social retardism is sometimes a hard hurdle to overcome, but grab a pole and vault. You can do it.

Now, Boyfriend is going to be confused and hurt because I'm not going on the Fourth of July party boat tomorrow. But I really don't want to spend five more hours feeling like an awkward uncomfortable freak show. Should I just suck it up and go? Am I being a baby? I could go out with my friends instead, and have a good time that doesn't involve drinking, sunburn, and pretending to have a good time when really I'm bored and angry and hurt.

(I found forty bucks on the ground at the bar, though. And that was the high point.)

There's No Place Like Home

I’m back and exhausted! I’ll post a few pics soon but a lot of them are on my friend’s camera. Most importantly…I made top ten percent! Barely, but I did it and I don’t even know how to tell you how relieved and happy I am. Thinking about how awful last year was, and how I managed to get through and change my life and come out on the other side exactly where I wanted, makes me want to cry. In the best way.
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Horror story: On the way back from Rome, our flight got delayed for four hours. We had gotten up at four and were exhausted, and I started crying on the airplane because I was so frustrated and tired. Then this lovely Italian lady named Rosie mothered me and fed me a granola bar and we talked all the way back to New York, and I met her sons at the airport and she told me she wished she had a daughter like me. (She met her husband in Italy and knew right away, and they got married almost immediately and are still happy thirty-eight years later, which is beautiful.)
Anyway, back to the horror. So then, even after running flat out through JFK with our suitcases, we still missed our Dallas flight, and I started crying again and so American Airlines put us on standby on a flight out of Laguardia. So we took a taxi and he drove crazy to get us there, speeding down exit lanes and then cutting people off to get back on the freeway, and the desk lady told us we might not get on (there were 84 standby passengers). So Yara begged, and I was still crying, and then we took her a pretzel and begged some more. And then magically our name popped up to the top of the list and we got on the plane and finally, finally got home, and my boyfriend scooped me up and twirled me and kissed me and I squealed and laughed, and everyone in the baggage claim stared at us.
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But, and there’s more to come later, I’ve never had such a great vacation. I love my best friend in a way I love few other people, and I’m lucky to have her. We celebrate the best qualities in each other at the same time we accept all the warts, and so travel together was amazing. We laughed the whole time, spent all day every day together and still talked each night till two in the morning.
******
Paris was my favorite city, London was very American, and Rome…ugh. I’ll be honest and say I did not like Rome and never want to go back. It was filthy and smelly and the men were very aggressive, and once you run out of ruins there’s not a lot to do. But later I’ll tell you about running around Paris, and an amazing little Sardinian restaurant off the Spanish Steps in Rome, and the bustle of London. Now I’m taking my jet lag back to bed.

Globetrottin' Girl

I'm so filled with joy lately--I can barely remember the bleak, lethargic feeling law school gave me. I got four of my grades and have thus far made two As and two Bs...the As were in my hardest classes, so they take away the sting of the Bs. I just should have worked harder in those classes (or actually gone--ha!). But constitutional law was miserably hard--hundreds of pages of material, closed book, needed to memorize case names and years and Supreme Court justices--and I did it. And I didn't just do it--I dominated it. This is the first grade I've ever actually been proud of.

In other news, my weeks have been crazy busy--trying to see everyone before I jet off to London, Paris, and Rome on Wednesday, trying to pack, trying to take care of law school business. Booking a five-day vacation in Puerto Vallarta with the handsome new boyfriend. We're in that lovey phase that's probably nauseating to other people, but I can't help it--how often do you just click with someone on every level? Intellectually, emotionally, physically--I can't believe it's already been a month, or that it's only been a month. I also can't believe how I'm softening--I like to cook him dinner, do his laundry. Erica's getting domesticated, friends. But I guess I can wear a power suit and make great penne pasta, too.

Anyway, I really should go pack--I'm having trouble believing that I did so well my first year of law school, and that soon I'm going to be strolling around Versailles and the Colosseum with my best friend, and that when I get back to America there's an amazing man waiting at the airport to whisk me home.

****

Also, Sarah has a deal for you if you want some Uggs...enter "FICKLEBROW" into the box in the shopping cart and you can get $30 off a pair of shoes. http://www.whoogaboots.co.uk/

*****

Dress: Anthro, Shoes: Naturalizer via Burke's Outlet, Bracelet and Earrings: NY and Co. (My friend's apt!)

Wedded Bliss

I’ve always leaned more toward eloping somewhere fabulous, but this wedding swayed me a little. My friend was so beautiful and radiant—and the ceremony so sincere and the guests so full of joy for my friends’ new life together—that I might have cried a little in the car. In a good way.

The reception was amazing, too—we all downed too much champagne and danced and sang crappy Journey songs late into the night. My feet were swollen for days, but it was worth it. (I also vaguely remember doing the Electric Slide. Apparently champagne makes me a stellar dancer. Sorry about your toes, Thara!)

And now I’m back from a week in sleepy Southern Illinois, and then in two weeks, Europe, with my best friend.

In case you’re wondering about the love front—going well. We talked for hours a day while I was in Illinois, and he picked me at the airport yesterday. And when I saw him my heart jumped. I was smiling before I got off the plane.

He appreciates my intelligence, and sees the best me—and I think when he sees the me who’s not so pretty, who throws her law book at the wall when she’s frustrated, or cries over a dumb commercial on TV, who fights with her mom and isn’t always as nice as she could be—he won’t mind.

I recently got an e-mail from a reader telling me to “chill” with the dating, which really made me think—maybe I shouldn’t jump into things, shouldn’t be going forward with such pell-mell abandon. On one hand, that’s good advice. And I appreciate advice.

On the other hand, I’m tired of being cautious—I’ve always had the good grades, good schools, nice manners, nice friends, suitable boyfriends who left me chilled. I never take chances; everything is calculated. And if I meet someone exciting, who makes me more spontaneous, who makes me joyful—then I’m going to go for it. I don’t want to live a muted brown life—I want to be fuchsia.

After months of feeling crushed and trapped by law school, it’s nice to emerge into the summer light, holding hands in the sun with a handsome boy who thinks you’re beautiful (and who fills the fridge with your favorite foods before you get home).





Most of my wedding pics have my friends in them, and since they don't know I have a blog and I would feel obligated to ask for permission to post their pics, you just get me. ;)

Date Two

So many posts! I only wish I had my camera and could put outfits up with them. BUT...

Another amazing night. Sushi first--I've never had it, but I'll try new things. One of the rolls was okay, but the rest...not so much. I have trouble choking down the squid and salmon eggs. So I had a pile of edamame and some miso soup, and I'm about to eat some hummus at this grand hour of three in the morning. Maybe the sushi is an acquired taste--I'd go back, but nothing holds my heart like enchiladas.

So then we were going to go to a movie, but nixed that because really, who has time for movies? We ended up in UpTown at a wine bar, talking for hours, and downed two bottles of Spanish wine before he dropped me off.

I like how he makes fun of me, and isn't offended that I mocked his pink shirt, and what's better than being young and full of hope in the city and mellowly tipsy and walking through the quiet streets of UpTown hand in hand with a guy you've had hours of amazing conversation with?

He's just so interesting, and fun, and did I mention he's handsome and smells good and and my stomach is kind of sore from laughing? I'm watching the game with him tomorrow, and then he's off to Ohio, and I'm kicking up my heels (pink suede platforms with a delicious gray silk 1940s style dress!) at my best friend's wedding before it's off to my Papa's house in Illinois to cool those same heels....

Thanks so much for the excitement and encouragement!

*Squee*

UPDATE: 1 bottle of wine + 1 110 pound girl=never, never again.

Late-Night Update

Okay friends!

Wow. As Ally said, I didn't have super high expectations for my first date, but I felt like it was a good ice breaker into my new life as a vivacious single woman with an arsenal of confidence and kick-ass shoes.

So, started out with Peruvian food (delicious!) and had an amazing time. I feel so relieved--within five minutes my nerves were completely gone. I was articulate, he made me laugh (hard), we talked for hours and now eight hours later the date has ended, followed up by a sweet text. (Despite the late hour, the date ended with all my clothes on, don't worry.)

I'm going out with him again tomorrow. That seems kind of soon and crazy, I suppose, but I did enjoy his company and I'm about to head out of town till July, so there's no harm of me jumping into things.

However, I did fall over a table and cut my knee, and also misinterpreted him leaning in as an invitation for a good night kiss--which it wasn't. Which was kind of awkward. But you know what? The kiss was exciting, it's been a long time, and I can own my awkwardness.

Getting Them All

Hi blog world,

Today I turn in my last paper of the year! It's not for a grade but to get on law review, which is prestigious and looks awesome on a resume.

More importantly, I have a date tomorrow. (Different guy--told you I would get them all!) I haven't had a date in five years, which pretty much means I've never dated as an adult--as someone who's confident, and has experiences and opinions and isn't half-formed. Zach and I grew into adulthood together--I don't really remember getting to know him at all. It was like I always knew him, and there was never really that uncomfortable, getting-to-know-you, sizing-you-up phase.

So I'm a little skittish about this whole process. What if I'm too nervous to be myself? What if he's not as literate and witty as he seems? Dress or jeans? Drink with dinner? How do people end up married, anyway? This is more stressful than the torts exam, to which there was also no answer.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited, though. I'll let you know how this goes.

My Post-Its Bring the Boys to the Yard

Back from a 1L celebration with one of my best beautiful friends (who was told by two very drunken people in the bar that she looked like Kim Kardashian! Because she does!) and filled with mojitos and fun.

Anyway, in regards to the last post, flirtatious text messaging ensued and talks of a date arose, even though we're both heading out of town for the summer very soon. And date or not, that was totally empowering and I definitely won't be sitting around waiting for guys to come find me. I can find them! They're everywhere and I will get them all. Well, maybe that's the mojito speaking. I'll just pick up one here and there every now and then.

Law school ending for this year is such an amazing weight off my shoulders...so ready to just be with my friends and relax and find my happy, cheerful self again!

"Do you always slip your number to bookstore employees?"

"No, just you. Bold, right?"

Post-It Princess

Today was my last law final, and this is the only test that I've ever felt I truly blew. I'm not used to that feeling, but that's what happens when you don't study.

But then I decided to stop worrying about my life choices and looking too far down the road and be Brave! And Sexy! So I went to sell my last book (thanks for that $14, Barnes and Noble! I paid $150!) and gave the Bookstore Boy my number. I walked by and dropped it on his keyboard and didn't even bother looking back, because sexy girls don't look back. But I should have looked back and down, because apparently one of my big yellow "claim preclusion" Post-its was on my ass.

I think that might be a fail, but it's a funny one.

The Grass is Greener, and More Fragrant, and I Want to Lie in It and Contemplate the Sky

Tomorrow is my last 1L law school final, and then this year will be...over. Oddly, I'm not overjoyed or even that excited (possibly because there is a writing competition almost immediately afterwards, so I can't exult in my freedom just yet).

But really I think my lack of pride and excitement in coming through a stressful, busy year is that I just don't care. I don't care that I finished a year--and I don't want to finish two more. This year saw amazing change in me--I've learned more in one year than I thought possible, I dealt with a financially and emotionally trying robbery experience without falling apart, and I had the strength to get out of a relationship that had been draining me emotionally for some time.

But I don't care about the law. I don't have passion or patience for it, and I don't have interest in it. I worked hard this semester, because that's who I am, but it was just getting through. Getting out of bed became more and more of a struggle, because there didn't seem to be anything to look forward to. I can't remember a time in my life when I've be so doggedly, draggedly unhappy.

And that's ridiculous--I know so many people would love to be in my position. However, it's like your mom telling you to eat your peas because there are starving children in Asia. There's no way they can get my peas, obviously, so the rationale does not hold up. (I will hide them in my pockets and feed them to the dog--haha mom! Tricked you all those years!)

I've spent hours in class this semester looking at English PhD programs, an option I didn't originally pursue because I wanted to make money and it takes so long to get the degree and then to find a job and obtain tenure. But I do have passion for the inconsistencies in Jude the Obscure, and patience for Chaucer and his damn Chanticleer, and interest in the world of academia. I remember when I was excited to go to class, when I loved what I was learning and doing and writing and reading. When I was eager and interested in what the professor had to say. When my peers discussed things with me, not to flaunt their own intellectual superiority, but because they were genuinely enthused about the topic. I miss that passion in myself--the exuberance of education. I took it for granted, that I would always be walking across our beautiful tree-lined campus with a stack of literature in my arms.

Anyway, maybe practice will be different and I'll like being a lawyer. I have to try, because my debt kind of has me in a corner, especially in this economy, and my grades put me in a better position than most. It's just hard to try out for law review, and seek a legal job, and check off all the requisite boxes to create a resume worthy of eventual employment when I'm just going through the motions.

But on a lighter, happier note, my bookstore boy winked at me the last time I was in there. *Fans self.* Actually, he looks a little young for me...maybe I am a law cougar. Ha!

How to Be a Slacker and Make Dean's List

This (second post of the day) has nothing to do with my life, but rather is for people who search for random law-related things and stumble on my blog. Since exams are about to start or have started, here are my slacker tips for studying less than other people during these hellish two weeks and still making decent grades.

(Unfortunately, this might only work if you went to class and actually listened during the semester. You may think you don't know a concept, but if you were there you probably do.)

1. If the final is open book, make "canned answers." For example, you know that your property exam is going to ask about easements. You can't be bothered to learn what all the easements are, and furthermore you don't even really understand the difference between in gross and appurtenant. Nor do you care. So, get your supplement and your class notes, along with an old practice exam, and make a canned answer.

See what format the professor wants, and make your answer follow that pattern. Then, use your supplement to make definitions for the concepts,including any policy arguments. Profs love those.

On the test day, copy your canned answer onto the test and work the facts around them. This is a tricky but legit way to "apply" the facts to the law without actually understanding the concept. I got my best grades in classes where I did this. (Ie, crim law--I have NO IDEA how to tell a conspirator from an accessory. But I kicked that exam into the dust.)

Plus, canned answers save a lot of time flipping through an outline, and you can use this time to polish and spell check.

2. If it's a closed book exam, study old practice tests. Lots of crusty old law profs have tenure, which means they have been teaching since the Jurassic and the library probably has a pretty hefty compilation of their old exams. Realistically, there are only so many ways you can ask about justiciability. Read the prompts, and then read the student answers that got As. See if they raised a lot of policy, or were more focused on the law itself. Remember their formats and phrasing, and try to apply them to the exam prompt. There are only so many ways to analyze a concept. If you memorize an analyzation road map, that will help a lot.

3. Don't listen to other people before or after the test. They are only pretending to be smart. Actually, they are dumber than you and afraid to let on. They subscribe to the power of positive thinking in a sick combination with psychological warfare, and they are wrong. Don't let them ask you questions about calculating damages; they will just confuse you. And for God's sake don't listen to them when the exam is turned in--and that point it's too late, and you're kicking yourself for not catching that conspiracy issue, and there probably was no conspiracy issue. Don't listen.

4. Don't just say what the law could be. Say what it is not, and why. This might just be particular to my profs, but they love that. It shows that you really do know what's going on and maybe you listened to them in class, even if you sounded pretty damn dumb every time they called on you (case in point: me).

5. Most professors say they don't care about case names or restatement provisions, and this is a LIE. They do want you to throw some case names in there, and a relevant UCC provision. If your exam is totally amazing, you might not need them. But throwing them in can't hurt, just as backup for your arguments. Analogizing to cases from class is never a bad idea.

*Take all of this with a grain of salt--right now I feel really positive about my grades, but obviously earlier today and this week I was about to jump off the patio.

Monday NoFunday

Ugh, getting dejected...I worked so much harder this semester. I did all the reading, had my outlines and review materials done weeks in advance, and actually understood the concepts. And yet the finals this semester seem so much more random...they aren't really testing what we know at all. The torts final today...I had no idea where to start. I ended up writing a ten page opus trying to demonstrate all kinds of tenuous connections, so that the professor could see that I DO understand torts and the complexities of the concepts.

As soon as the final was over everyone started buzzing about the content, and I flew out of there on wings of caffeine and desperation. Someone was talking about how they interwove the rights of fetuses (Doesn't that make more sense as feti? I should have stayed an English major) into the exam, which is insane, because it was about strict liability for a motorcycle accident. Or at least I thought that's what it was about!

And then for Wednesday the two-hour final got expanded into three, and it's closed book and so much memorization that it's going to be horrible between now and then. Horrible as in, I'm dejected and go to the mall instead of trying to memorize what justice wrote what opinion on Constitutional Law.

And I went to the bookstore all confident and ready to be bold and ask out Bookstore Boy, but he wasn't there. That boat probably sailed, which is fine. I'm not in a hurry. Well, except in getting to Friday and freedom. And then my 1L year will be over, finally and ignominiously.

(Also, my problems are not even remotely real. If you're religious, please pray for my beautiful friend Kayleigh over at Fashionably Later. If you're not religious, just think good thoughts for her! She is an amazing wife and mother and woman and I can't imagine what she's going through.)

Where Does Time Go?

I really am horrible about posting when I don't have outfit pics! But my parents are very generously buying me a new camera for my European whirl in June, so after that I should be back in business.

I took two law finals this week, and while I feel like I did well on the first one, so did everyone else. So that might not bode well. The one today...ugh. Questions from last semester, questions about things we didn't even discuss this semester, questions from footnotes in our casebook! Craziness, and who knows what I will get in there!

But then three more finals, and 1L year is over, and I will have a load of advice for all the 0Ls looking for comfort (or confirmation of their fears, ha!).

In other news, as of yesterday I was single for exactly one month. That's the longest I've been single since I was 18, but it's not really been an adjustment. I'd already been moving toward independence for a while. I've learned a lot about myself, though--that I can carry all my bags of groceries by myself at once, in a bout of superstrength. That I'm actually a more positive, self-sufficient person when I don't have a shoulder who is obligated to listen to my every little whine. (I still can't open the V8, however, so I shouldn't get ahead of what an independent girl I am!)

However, law school made me realize that having a family is something I want, and since I'm almost 25 (not that that is old, of course, but really your ovaries only last so long) I'll probably start casually dating again soon. I had a nice flirtation with a guy working in the campus bookstore today, and Monday I'm going to go sell some more of my text books and ask him out. I'll let you know how it goes. :)

PS, Law School

Actually, in particular, my legal writing professor. I need to get a paid job at a big firm this summer? Really? Wow! Okay, just let me go get on that! Thanks for letting me know that if I don't I'm watching my legal career swirl down the drain!

Also, thanks for the great advice on how to be morally bankrupt! So if, this summer, one of my fellow interns asks for help on a situation or document, I should politely tell them I'll get back to them soon and then never respond? That seems like a great way to foster interoffice relationships...what did I do before you entered my life? I revere your wisdom.

Glad I came to class today!

Cordially,
Erica

(Above advice is unembellished and from a real law class.)

Dear Law School

Dear Law School,

I am not a cock-eyed optimist by any means. In fact, my glass is usually half-empty and I like it that way. But little by little you are wearing me down. Like when you give away scholarships for those working in public interest positions, and they inexplicably go to people who don’t have jobs lined up; who drive Mercedes; who have never volunteered anything but their opinion; who didn’t even meet all the criteria listed on the form.

And then there are my friends, people who used to be social workers, who have volunteered at inner city summer camps and clinics and who knows what else, who actually want to make a difference. Who know that being poor isn’t something to be ashamed of, and there are a lot of honest people who need help. Who could actually use the money to pay their expenses, because they don’t live in a fancy condo in the good side of town, financed by their parents.

You make me sad. Part of the reason I hate you, law school, is because it’s not about how smart you are, or how you work. It’s about who you know on what committee, or who your dad has lunch with.

So I sit, and listen to you talk about the limo you are renting for law prom, and make fun of people who live in trailers and that guy with the moobs, and decide not to go to class tomorrow.

Love,
Erica

Seventh Day, Seven Things

Seven Things About Me

1. I am a horrible dancer. Self-conscious, no rhythm, stomps on toes. However, once I had a “Mongolian mother” and who knows what was in there, because suddenly I became the Best Dancer Ever. No rhythm, stomps on toes, totally confident. Pour me another!

2. Some inexplicable things make me cry. That Diet Dr Pepper commercial, where the little six pack sneaks out from the soda aisle and marches to the candy aisle and then the candy sticks get ecstatic and start dancing and the cupcakes snuggle their new high-fructose corn syrup friends while the theme from “Cheers” plays? Makes me snuffle. That candy is just so happy to see those Dr Peppers.

3. I always go to see independent films and arthouse darlings, but my favorite movie in the world is Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. I LOVE that movie. Nothing has ever made me laugh that hard.

4. I shop to make myself feel better, but I almost always return all of it. Stores hate me.

5. I really like street performers. I could watch them forever, especially if they’re playing odd instruments. I mainly draw this from my experience in Spain, where I was forever stopping to watch frog puppets and street bands.

6. I only have three very close friends, but I love them passionately and have for years (one since I was 11!). There doesn’t seem to be room for many other people (especially with the hectic pace of lawschool…)

7. I’m currently two different people—at school I’m quiet and standoffish and survival-of-the-fittest, but anywhere else I generally feel outgoing and friendly and ready to mingle.

Anyone else consider yourself tagged!! Thanks, Rachael, for tagging me.

(Also, I responded to all your comments on the last post but thanks again for your support! I had actually broken up with my boyfriend the same day I posted that blog, and your kind words really helped!)

Since I currently can’t post pics of myself, here are my current fashion faves:

These Gap undies are amazing…you can wash them a million times and they still look great, and the stretch lace makes them super-comfy…no mini-muffin bulge under dresses or skirts!

Fashion starts from the skin out…this scent is AMAZING and perks you up in the morning.

Wearing this shirt out...looks great with dark-wash wide legs and red peep toes!

Back from the Beyond

First of all, sorry it took me so long to get back and give you an update! I spent the week after I got robbed moving, and then I was so behind in my law work that I have been swamped ever since. The robberies in the complex are still going on, which is crazy to me—I guess the management there just doesn’t care about its tenants. They actually told me they knew it was someone in the complex, but obviously they aren’t going to do anything about it. I hope the manager enjoyed her cut from my new TV.

However, my new apartment is amazing--it's 200 square feet bigger, with a massive garden tub, gas fireplace, hardwoods, and an alarm. Even better, the closet is so big I can finally hang up every item of clothing I own--at one time. There are security guards in the parking lot every night, and cameras in the halls. I feel so much safer. And the best thing is that it was only $50 more a month. Thank you, horrible economy! I've had to cut out some fun activities like eating out, but it's worth it to feel secure in my lovely new place. They even painted a wall yellow for me, so it's sunny and cheery.

A lot has happened since I moved, as well. “Happened” as in I took a hammer and made a shambles of everything. I went to law school because I was so lost with what I wanted in my life. I didn’t know what path to take, if I wanted to get married and have a family, if I wanted to focus on a career instead, if I wanted to join the Peace Corp and move to the Ukraine.

In retrospect, the law has been a mistake for me. I don’t enjoy the competition or the work, despite the fact that I did so well. I don’t really indentify with or enjoy many of my peers, and I think I might have been better suited to a Ph.D. program with one of my true passions, English or History. I’m still looking into it. I’m not a quitter, and I will finish law school. But if I don’t like practice, I’m not going to tie myself to it.

I also broke up with my boyfriend of five years. Maybe that will be a mistake, but it feels right for so many reasons, even while I’m crushed and crying. We both just want drastically different things out of life, and even I’ve broken both our hearts I feel like my decision was the necessary one. I’m just not ready for a wedding—I’ve really never wanted that like some people do. I didn’t plan it as a little girl, don’t browse “The Knot” in my spare time, and just get no joy out of the thought of picking out the dress and the garter and tasting frostings to make my perfect day. I’m not ready for the marriage that comes after, either. I like to live alone and run my own life, not answering to anyone.

However, this does not mean I’m horribly sad! I have a buoyant hope that soon things will work out—I’ll find my niche in the law or something else, meet a love that takes my breath (and selfishness) away, and have a lovely charmed life. It just means that this blog might turn into an “Erica figures out her life” blog, and you are not obligated to read it at all. I can’t afford a new camera, so while I still strive for fashion I just can’t share it.

Thank you for all your kind comments after I was robbed! They really meant a lot to me, and I hope all has been going well in your lives. It feels good to be back.

Sad Times

Someone kicked in my apartment door and stole a ton of my stuff--including my camera--so I will not be posting for a while. I'll be back when I get a new one, but right now I am working on breaking my lease and moving somewhere else, because I just can't stay there.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Birthdays, Best Days

My parents have been here for the week for my birthday, so it's been lots of fun. I got a new vacuum as a present, and was pretty excited about it...when did I become practical? I also got my carpets shampooed, some pajamas, and a new TV! I'm in love with it and want to watch every movie I own now...unfortunately, law school stands in the way of this slacker-ish desire. But I really love film, and watching them on something bigger than a 19-inch that occasionally greens out is going to amazing.

In other news, I'm getting a little sad about the summer job hunt...firms just aren't giving interviews, so I guess I will have to work public interest part-time and nanny the rest to pay the bills. Oh well! I think it's easier to get a job second summer, and if I stay near or in the top ten percent I should be fine.

Hope everyone is having a lovely week! The weather here is amazing and I love to be with my family, so all in all this has been a fabulous few days.

Outfit: Sweater: Knitted and Knotted; Cami: The Limited; Jeans: Express; Boots: Nine West

Adventures in Babysitting

(In undergrad, I babysat three to four nights a week. I've started up again to save money for my trip...Dallas moms pay very well and generally have a beautiful house with a big TV for you to enjoy after you scoot the kids to bed. The mother I babysit for most kindly lets me bring both my boyfriend and my dog....)

Keira, 4, referring to the Witch in her Barbie movie: "And then she tried to kill them and get them all stoned!"

Hhaaaa. Actually, the Witch was throwing rocks at them, or something.

Outfit: Skirt and Shirt: Anthro; Belt: NY & Co; Shoes: Liz Claiborne via Outlet; Necklace: 16th birthday gift from parents.

Zap! Lights Out

Oh my. My kitchen light and living room light burned out today, and my air is broken, and every time I use the heater and any other appliance my breakers flip. I move every year, being quite the nomad and never satisfied with any apartment, and it looks like this year will not be any different! I also saw a man breaking into cars right outside my window a few weekends ago, so I probably will be packing up and heading out when my lease is up. I'd rather live somewhere safer and do less shopping, I suppose.

Anyway, this week was a beast, because we had make-up classes from the ice day and several papers to prepare for. But even though it was horrible, time-wise, it was actually one of the better weeks I've had in law school. I read somewhere that if you don't like the law environment, remove yourself--and I did.

I left immediately every day after class and did all my work at home, focused on before-law friends and my boyfriend and family, and felt exponentially less annoyed and miserable. I'm sure my peers were perplexed, as I turned down lunch and dinner invitations. I do like my law friends--they are interesting and funny and I don't mind the occasional outing. But for the most part, I need to keep my "law" life and "real" life separate...otherwise it's just too stressful. There are only so many hours I day I can worry about our next paper or the frustrating ambiguities of my torts professor's lectures, and I need to be around people who can put that in perspective.

Outfit: Dress: Moulinette Soeurs; Shirt: AT Loft; Patterned Tights: Target; Shoes: Anne Klein.

I love this dress! The lining is a bright pink, and you can see it peeking around the edge of the ruffle...and it also has the exposed zipper and the metal studs, which make it a little less sweet.

Thank You, Stephen King (ThreeStories in One!)

"Both Rowling and Meyer, they’re speaking directly to young people. … The real difference is that [Harry Potter author] Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and [Twilight author] Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good."
- Stephen King tells USA Today

Thank you, Stephen King. Because I am a bad student, I spent Constitutonal Law reading people's response to this statement and chuckling inside. I personally am quite in love with King, and while he's had some novels I didn't enjoy (Dolores Claiborne, Gerald's Game) and others that were just clumsy, especially in the last decade, he's still created some enduring horror literature. And while many tweens are up in arms and probably won't pick up a King novel anytime soon, they're missing out on, among other things, the psychological horror of The Shining, the claustrophobic intensity of Misery, and and the grand sweep of The Stand.

I started reading Stephen King books when I was twelve, tucked away in the library, because my mother forbid me to read them at all. Even though he's no Steinbeck and probably wouldn't sit at the same table with any modern literature luminaries, he holds his own. I don't remember the main character's name in White Teeth, or what happened to the Joads in The Grapes of Wrath, or any plot points in Song of Solomon...but I'm still afraid that Frank Dodds is hiding in my closet, and I don't like to be alone in a hotel hallway.

However, while Stephen King makes me scared to sleep with the lights off, Stephenie Meyer makes me fear for the intelligence of tween youth. So while she missed the mark on romance, she's spot on for horror.

(Last obnoxious opinion: If you can't tell, I'm not a believer that "any reading is good reading." It's probably better to watch Masterpiece Theater's The Mill on the Floss or something equivalent than read a Harlequin.)

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Also, because I am a bad student, I left the sound on on my computer and it started bawking like a chicken, rather loudly, when I logged on to play Fowl Words...luckily that professor is most apathetic about our learning experience and didn't call me out on it.

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I have also been tagged by D'Rae to show my blogspot, so here it is! The prints on the wall are reproductions of vintage fairy tale illustrations, and the birds aren't paint...they're wall graphics, which were much easier!

The view from the couch....


Ialways leave the couch covered with blankets in order to protect it from doggy mishaps.


Sometimes, I sleep on the couch...hence the bed here.

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Outfits tomorrow...I will not be too lazy to take a picture! Hopefully a small goal like that will be attainable.

Self-Control Needed

Hmm. I really want this bag at Francesca's:

It is a knock off of this Miu Miu bag I really want but cannot afford and would not buy it if I could, as it's the cost of a plane ticket to Europe:

Disclaimer: I do not watch Gossip Girl. Much like with Twilight, I'm incredibly bothered by the message the books and the show send out to their target audience of overly susceptible teens. I watch a lot of smut reality TV, and enjoy shows like Sex and the City despite their ridiculousness, but those were grown women and it was primarily good-natured. Gossip Girl, the premise and the characters, are just...nasty. And I don't like things that make me feel ick inside. (Obviously, my future children are going to be annoyed at all the excellent TV I won't let them watch....)

Anyway, should I break my ban and buy the bag? I do love it...and I don't really have many purses.

Slothful Sundays

Outfit: Dress: Macys; Tights: Target; Sweater: AT Loft; Shoes: Impo

Oh, I love Sundays. Blissful alone time to run errands, clean my apartment, and oh...do the week's work so that I can spend each night reading interesting books and watching TV.

Everyone on Facebook is posting this meme, and since I don't have anything else to say today, here it is.

25 Random Things About Me.

1. When I was three, a little boy tried to hug me and I jerked away, and he accidently broke my arm. I didn’t cry or say anything, and it actually took my parents a long time to notice I wasn’t using it. (I am not that tough now.)

2. I’m super-afraid of heights. If I have to climb things, I get about three feet off the ground and start to panic. When I was six, I somehow got on the top of the jungle gym and was too afraid to jump off. My entire class went in without me and the teacher had to come back out and find me, huddled at the top. When I was 12, I climbed two rungs of the pole at the challenge course and almost passed out. I had to lie on the ground for a little while. It’s bad.

3. Also as a child, my little heart was quite loyal…I was madly in love with the same little boy from kindergarten to about seventh grade.

4. I can remember whole cast recordings from musicals and passages from books, but I have to leave my PIN number written in my wallet.

5.I leave the same CD in my truck for months at a time, on purpose, because when I fall deeply in love with something I can’t bear to listen to anything else. Chris Isaak’s Forever Blue album holds the longest spot, but things by Sondheim usually play forever, as well.

6.I find law school insufferably boring and it’s a chore to make myself pay attention. Anyway, if I was independently wealthy I would be studying Victorian Literature at the Royal Holloway University.

7. See above; I am being a lawyer so I can afford to travel the world. I want to safari in Kenya and wander through a rainforest in Peru and walk across the moors at Haworth. I want to see everywhere.

8. I hate to wear the exact same thing twice, and I rarely do. I have a lot of clothes, having stopped growing somewhere around age 15.

9. I really love movies and books and shows about mobsters. The Sopranos, The Godfather, Goodfellas, etc.

10. I am an honorary Mexican, by right of my long association with the Valdez family. (14 years!)

11. Most of my best friends haven't even met each other. But I really couldn't do without them.

12. I am an only child. I used to tell my mom that if she had another baby I would throw it out the car window.

13. I have also had a ton of different jobs. I have worked at a Sunday School, Ann Taylor, a magazine, the library, a publishing house, a camp for underprivileged kids, a kids’ consignment store, an advocacy center, the campus newspaper…and probably more I can’t remember.

14. I procrastinate in an odd way. If there’s an assignment I don’t want to do, I do every other possible assignment that’s not due right away. And then I finally start the dreaded paper, or whatever it may be. So I’m always both very ahead and woefully behind.

15. I have intense road rage.

16. I'm a picky eater. I HATE barbeque, any sort of meat on the bone, most meat in general, corn, even the smell of Chinese food makes my stomach turn, seafood, beans of all kinds, cold pasta salad-type things...the list goes on. However, I do have a passion for squash and most fruit and cheese enchiladas.

17. I own hundreds of books. My bedroom here and at home is packed with them, and I also have a pretty big corner of my mom’s storage shed dedicated to my collection. I love them and can’t part with them. When I have a house, I want the walls lined with all the novels and memoirs and fairy tales that have moved me, changed me, amused me, or intrigued me. I want that good book smell wafting through every room.

18. I fell deeply in love with Wuthering Heights when I was 13. I read the book at least once a year. I still am in love with Heathcliff, even though I realized with the wisdom of years that he is a sadistic, abusive sociopath with few redeeming qualities. But hey, he's brooding. And that's hot.

19. I fell deeply in love with Christian Bale around the same age. Jo, what was WRONG with you? Turn down Peter Lawford, and by all means Douglass Montgomery, but...Christian Bale? PAH.

20. I have a bad habit of just chopping people out of my life if they're consistently not supportive of my dreams and excited about my successes. Or maybe this is a good habit, as I have a core of friends who love me just as much as I love them.

21. I'm a joyously solitary little person, and I'll usually choose the couch and a book over a bar on any given (actually, every) day.

22. I like standardized tests. I think they're fun.

23. I'm secretly competitive. I let people think I'm lackadaisical about my studies and then I crush them. Buwhahaaa. This did not go over well with some of my peers this semester.

24. This is the age I will be in 10 days!

25. I will be greatly pleased if some of my other bloggy friends do this, because the posts where others give me little insights into their lives and personalities are always my favorites!

Lapse in Fashion

Sorry for the lack of posting this week--it's been very cold and icy, and I didn't even leave the apartment on Wednesday (which, frankly, was glorious).



In addition, our legal writing professors are assigning, once again, papers that aren't for a grade but that still take an annoying amount of effort, and I've been trying to knock them out early so I can watch 12 hours of America's Next Top Model on Sunday.

But I did...suspense please...book a two-week tour of Paris, Rome, and London, with my best friend, leaving in June! That's really not long enough in each city I suppose, but my finances allow me only a taste and I can go back and explore them further another time.

I'm kind of delirious since booking it, thinking of all the things I'll see...Notre Dame, Versailles, the Sistine Chapel, Pompeii, Westminster Abbey...and I'm also (perhaps overly) excited that I will finally see a John Williams Waterhouse painting. He's my favorite painter, and so I can't wait to get to the Tate and finally see one of his works!

Of course I could stay forever in England, as they have "Victorian Literature" tours where you can travel the country and see Jane Austen's houses and haunts, and the Haworth parsonage, etc., but I think that might be something I do on my own one day.

The Soul of the Rose, 1908

Dean's List

Yay, I made Dean's List! Here is a re-enactment of my reaction.

That being said, here are the lessons I have learned thus far from law school.

1. Law school is like high school. People told me this, and I didn't want to believe them. But it's true. Gossip is rampant. There's actually a group of girls who talk about who does and doesn't wash their hands after they pee. The law is obviously pretty boring if people can't find anything more interesting than that to discuss. Also, if you drive to class with someone of the opposite sex, you are sleeping with them. OMG.

2. Writing your exams in the style and format the professor wants can be just as important as having a true grasp of the material. For finals, I primarily studied old tests and how students who got As worded their arguments and made their points. I didn't fall much below my friend who studied 24/7 and has a truly daunting understanding of everything we covered.

3. Don't sit by the same person in every class. For one thing, you can meet more people by varying your seat. For another, the person you sit by might start to annoy you mid-semester...and you are stuck. All. Year.

4. Take the word "mandatory" in front of "meeting" with a grain of salt. The career counselors say all the meetings are required. They don't take attendance. They won't know if you're there or not, and for the most part you don't need to be.

5. Most importantly, if you're lost and don't know what to do with your life, don't go. Several of my friends (and myself) came to law school because our undergrad degrees were useless and we didn't know what else to do. However, unless you have true dedication and drive to be a lawyer, the willpower needed to make yourself study and deal with all the pessimism they feed you is immense (the profs talk about malpractice and how we are not going to find jobs almost every day. Very uplifting). Your peers are arrogant, your professors are disparaging, and the reward for getting through it are endless 80-hour work weeks. I enjoy learning for its own sake, and I've made some good friends, but if I had it to do over again I probably would choose a different path.

(The above list does not imply I'm miserable. And of course I might like being a lawyer. Mistakes can always work out if you try to move them in a positive direction, and luckily I have great parents and friends, as well as my ridiculously cute chihuahua, to make it through. But if you have Googled "should I go to law school" and stumbled upon this--the answer is NO.)

Outfit: Does this dress look familiar? Ha, I bought it in two colors. Express. Tights: Francesca's. Shoes: Liz Claiborne. Necklace: Francesca's. Cami: Express.

Helping Hands

Me: "Oh, come on. When we lived together you never helped me clean."

Zach: "Well, I always rinsed my plate before I put it in the sink."

Luckily for him, I was in a mood where this exchange made me laugh.

Outfit: Dress: United Colors of Benetton; Tights: Target; Boots: Rocket Dog; Belt: Nordstrom BP; Bracelet: Forever 21 (and there's my star dress on the floor...that would make my mother so sad. Hang up your clothes! she says)

That's How I Knew This Story Would Break My Heart

(The title is from an Aimee Mann song. I love her.)

Tonight, as part of our Oscar Extravaganza, we went and saw The Wrestler. When it started, I wasn't sure I could care about the main character, Randy--wrestling is hokey, and Mickey Rourke frankly looks a mess, and how many times do I need to see a stripper/hooker with a heart of gold?

But when it was over, I sat in the car and cried--the woman behind me didn't wait. She was sobbing quietly as the screen went black. Randy was so human--and so broken and fragile and stubbornly strong, just as absurd in his sequined spandex leggings as he was hulking behind the meat counter at the grocery store, serving up potato salad.

I wanted so badly for Pam to love him, and for his daughter to love him, and for him to love himself, and I think something broke inside me, a little, when it was over. I haven't been affected (effected? some English major I am) by a movie like that in a long time. When I saw Revolutionary Road last week, I felt like Leonardo DeCaprio was acting his suspenders off, and that the center of the movie was hollow and hopeless, and yes, Kate Winslet, I know; you are quite good at screaming and crying. Slumdog Millionaire I liked much better, but still--a little slick, not characters I felt for. I was moved by the depiction of crushing poverty and casual cruelty, but the leads and their fate--meh.

But Randy just seemed so real, so aching yet hopeful, so degraded while holding onto his dignity, and the point of this is that it's definitely worth seeing, and I hope Mickey Rourke wins his Oscar.

(Although be forewarned and prepared to flinch--there's some heavy casual wrestling violence in this, involving staple guns and barbed wire.)

Outfit: Dress: Ebay; Tights: Target; Shoes: Naturalizer; Vest: Macy's.

Dear Legal Writing Professor

You are crushing my soul. Why do we have an assignment due every single class, none of which are for a grade--yet if we don't turn one in, we fail the class? This is not logical.

Perhaps you noticed that on the last assignment I made up answers and cited random statutes and cases instead of doing new research. In the real world I believe this is called "malpractice," so thanks for getting me off to such an ethical start.

However, as I have five other classes that are more interesting, useful, and relevant to my GPA and thus my career prospects, I am sure you understand.

Also, I heard eyebrows are really coming back in this year. Please take note.

Best regards,
Erica

Outfit: Dress: NY & Co; Shirt: NY & Co; Patterned tights: Target; Boots: Bandolino

Winter Waiting

I guess the wait-game is never-ending...now I'm waiting to hear what class percentile I'm in! I'll be pleased, however, to go class tomorrow and see who's happy and who's grim about their grades. Is it wrong to hope that the smug, boastful people have frowns on their faces? That the quiet and friendly have prevailed? That doesn't really seem in accord with my New Year's "work in progress" resolution, but one can't expect miracles, I suppose.

In other news, it's warm here again, which is good, as using the heater and the dryer at the same time flips my breaker and leaves me in the dark. I needed to wash some towels, so the front came in at just the right time.

Oh, and I saw Slumdog Millionaire and Revolutionary Road this weekend...both good, but neither were movies I would see again with any enthusiasm. Revolutionary Road especially was deeply depressing and soulless. Watching two hours of desperately unhappy people realizing how trapped they are in suburban mediocrity, and how they turn on each other, made me rethink and envision a Ms. Havisham-type future without shuddering.

Outfit: Dress: Spain; Cami: JCPenney; Tights: Target; Boots: Rocket Dog; Earrings: Express. Please, someone scold me into accessorizing!

Hahahaa Victory

I'll post my outfit later...right now I am frantically refreshing the grades page while I wait for CrimLaw...BUT...

I made an A, an A-, two B+s, and a B!! While the Bs are a little disheartening and previously foreign to my overachieving little self, it's still good enough to be in at least the top 1/4 of the class, if the numbers from past years are anything to go by. So...wooooo!

Hopefully this last grade will be good and bump me on up...fingers crossed.

(But to point out that law grades are completely arbitrary: I made the A in the class I skipped all the time, and a B in a class I never missed in and thought my paper was very good. Go figure.)

UPDATE: I made an A- in criminal law! The last year's top ten percent at the end of the year at at least a 3.48...so if it is the same I could be in it! Which would mean so much...there's the possibility of not only a job this summer, but perhaps one that pays. Out to a fabulous dinner!

Cruel, Cruel

Oh, oh, our professors told us we would have our grades by the end of the day and...they are vile liars.

You might wonder, "Why is that so important? Who cares if you have to wait?" Well, law exams are a whole different game than undergrad exams. You only have one grade--the final--which determines your rank in class, which determines which jobs you can interview for, which determines whether you will get out and pay your loans off in a few years while still enjoying a fairly high quality of life or whether you will get out and have to eat Ramen and sell your eggs to even pay the rent.

The level of competition is high, and people are generally unwilling to admit they might have done poorly. Of COURSE they aced it, they declare smugly, twirling their mustaches and patting their contracts book with smug confidence.

Obviously, however, we cannot all make As--but I suppose aspiring lawyers never had to be good at statistics.

(Although I have been looking at positions with the FBI lately, and honestly that excites me a lot more than the hallowed halls of the law. Better watch out, cannibals! I'm coming for you.)

Hmm...those yellow tights are quite bright indeed. They look more mustardy in person.

Outfit: Shirt and dress: Anthro; Tights: Macys; Boots: Nine West

A Very Merry Unshop Day To Me

As a sign of my dedication to frugality, as well as my wish to avoid getting a job, I'm returning everything I can find with a tag on it. While this might seem excessive, I figure if I've had it since before Christmas and haven't worn it, I must not love it enough to keep it. I'm ashamed to say that so far I've returned over $400 worth of stuff and have a few more stores to hit.

In other news, I still don't have my grades for the first semester and it is very hard to work up the motivation to do anything without them. We're supposed to get them sometime before the first of February...at this point I feel like I did horribly and should probably join the Peace Corps and move to Ukraine.

However, be prepared for a post in the near future that's either grim and cloudy or filled with birdsong and joy, depending on how I did.

Outfit: Turtleneck: Banana Republic Outlet; Dress: MNG; Tights: Target; Boots: Nine West; Necklace: Anthro

Bad Choices

Starting this semester off right, I chose to have margaritas and enchiladas rather than packing for this weekend's wedding, doing my property reading, or studying for my test on Tuesday. Since I haven't had a drink in--oh--forever, they were a bit more potent than I expected and induced a stellar rendition of "Secret Agent Girl" in the car. (I was not driving, don't worry!)

Get excited for some rockin' bridesmaid pics....

Also, it is very hard to do Pilates with a chihuahua in your lap...I should have bought the "Mommy and Me Yoga" video. "You're on the floor? Why are you on the floor? I will bite you yeaarrghh!"

Outfit: Cardi: NY&Co; Dress: Anthro; Tights: Macys; Shoes: Liz Claiborne via Outlet

Fringe Benefits

Too bad Glamour said fringe was out, because I'm still loving it!

In other news, I'm back after having a good holiday! School starts Thursday, and while I still feel burned out, I'm sure things will be fine. I won't see my grades till February (after tuition is nonrefundable--law school is a cut-throat, money-grubbing business, not a bastion of academic thought and growth as they would have you believe), but by then I might not even care.

I didn't really make resolutions for New Year's--rather, these are, in the words of one of my friends, "works in progress" that I always struggle to do.

But, this year I want to...

1. Be healthier. Last semester I did well, but I want to exercise at least one more day a work and eat out only twice a week.

2. Love more people unconditionally. I tend to pick people apart in my head. There are very few people I just accept, as a whole, for who they are, without wishing they would change in some way. And that's sad. I should be nicer.

3. Spend less. After today, hitting both the Go International Thakoon line at Target and the 1/2 off Lucky sale, I am not buying anything until March 1 unless I have a gift card. I have enough debt already from law school, and I'm booking a trip to Europe at the end of the month. So, blog friends, please hold me accountable and scold when necessary.

4. Enjoying "now" more. This means being glad that school means I can keep a crazy schedule and have hours and hours of free time. Not feeling pressured to get married, or have a baby, or buy a house, or the things my friends who already graduated and got jobs are doing. And, most importantly, keeping away from my law school peers' toxic opinions about absolutely everything they know nothing about. "What, you use Dove to wash your dishes? God, you're going to fail. You need to use Palmolive to get an A."

We'll see how many of those I keep.

I hope everyone had a great holiday, and I'm looking forward to catching up on everyone's blogs over the next few days! You keep me awake in Civil Procedure. Ha!

Outfit: Boots: Gianni Bini; Jeans: 7 for all Mankind; Cami: Ann Taylor Factor; Sweater: Nordstrom BP